Imagine you walk into an auto dealership, and the salesman walks up to you and says “Hey, we got these great cars! They can take you from home to work much faster than a bicycle, and did you know that almost everyone in the US owns at least one?” You’d look at him like he was nuts.
You don’t want to be sold on the benefits of a car. You want to know why his cars are better than other cars. You want to know why the Nissan Pathfinder is better than the Ford 4Runner or why you should buy the Honda Civic over the Toyota Corolla.
Yet as a copywriter, I can’t tell you how many times I see the former pitch rather than the latter on people’s webpages. For some reason when people write web copy, people insist on selling the car, not the Nissan. They’ll tell me all about why I need maid service, when I’m already on the maid service page.
Guys, if I’m on the maid service page, then I’m looking for maid service. I already know that a cleaner house will make my kids safer and my guests happier. Don’t tell me that in the first sentence. It’s an egregious waste of space.
Tell me why your maid service is better than the other five maid service pages I just visited. Give me your main differentiator. Up there. Up front. Up bold. In my face. So I can’t miss it. Because you’ve only got a few seconds of my time. Don’t waste them trying to convince me that having domestic help will “take away my worries and give me time to go the spa.” I’m sold on that already. Sell me on you.